Have you ever felt singled out as the cause for a problem?

Shift happens. Between intention and execution there is inevitably a gap, where expectations are not met and intended results not achieved. This gap could be anything from a minor deviation to a catastrophic failure. Whatever the size of the gap, this is where leadership is tested.

One of the default strategies when things don’t go to plan is blaming or scapegoating. Blaming is one of four familiar toxic behaviour patterns identified by The Gottmann Institute as showing up when things go wrong and conflict enters a system.

So what’s so bad about blaming?

When something has gone wrong, it can be helpful to pinpoint causes for the failure, understand what happened, and adjust strategies to avoid recurrence. Sounds good, doesn’t it? Amy Edmondson says, “Strong leadership can build a learning culture – one in which failures large and small are consistently reported and deeply analyzed, and opportunities to experiment are proactively sought.”

However, things can turn toxic when blaming turns on a person, and an attempt is made to vilify them as the sole (or main) cause of the failure. It can include extreme behaviours like chronic criticism, overt aggression​, bullying​, harsh words, dominating, and controlling.

These are compounded when emotions are running high, attacks are made personal, or there is public humiliation.

This shuts down any possibility of thoughtful or creative response. It creates a powerful incentive for people to cover up or deny mistakes. They may opt to stay below the radar, and not bring their best efforts, as they become motivated to avoid risk and withhold their discretionary effort.

In team situations where blame is spiralling out of control, how would you help?

What have you seen working?